Sunday, May 2, 2010

April Is A Bittersweet Month


I know that April is now over and past, but I've been contemplating writing this post, but never got around to it last month. So, here goes now. There's something about April that I used to love when I lived in the States and that is the new life of Spring!! I loved to see the grass turn green after it being brown through what always seemed a long winter. And there's something about going out to see the daffodils, tulips, crocuses poking out through the cold ground. I loved to see all the beautiful trees bloom and see them coming to life with new shoots of leaves. A lot of years we celebrate Easter in April which is always an exciting time and there are a lot of birthdays in our family that are celebrated, but over the last five years in some ways I almost dread when the month of April comes! Let me explain what I mean. You see, it sort of starts of sad for me as the 1st was my Mother's birthday and I miss her so much! I have so many wonderful and pleasant memories of my Momma for which I'm thankful. Next comes another sad day ~ April 2nd. That's the anniversary when my oldest sister, Thelma, passed away from that horrible dreaded disease of cancer. There were almost 21 years between us and when I look back on some of the things of my early childhood that I did with Thelma it was really neat. I remember going to where she worked way back then and watching her work away doing telegram's at Western Union. She seemed to love her job of working in an office type setting. Maybe that's where I get it :o) I miss calling and talking to her on the phone or stopping by her home when I'd go back "home". She was a great big "Sis"!! Then comes the week of family anniversaries, birthday's of sister~in~law's, also an awesome nephew who I don't get to see very often and one of my great~nephews. On the 23rd we all celebrate my next to oldest niece, Michelle. But just five short years ago we lost my Daddy on her birthday. Oh, my what a sad day that was. It was early, early in the morning when he left us BUT the birds outside were singing so clearly even though it was still dark. I remember going back to the nursing home that day to gather his earthly belongings and around noon the bells at the Catholic in that little village tolled on and on as it was the same day that the Pope died. In my mind I'd like to think they were ringing the bell in memory of my Daddy who had just passed away a few hours earlier that morning :o) I miss my Daddy so much but again have so many precious memories of my years I had him in my life. Yes, I really value all the memories of my loved ones who have gone on before me. No matter what ~ as long as I have my right mind nobody can take those memories from me. And there are times I just love to reflect back on those wonderful thoughts I have stored away in my mind. As if April wasn't sad enough for me as for those loved ones who passed on, this past Wednesday evening around 10:00, my Daddy's oldest sister who was 96 years old passed away. She was such a sweet lady and was one of those who would do anything for anybody. When I still lived in Ohio and went out to PA to visit family I tried to always go see her. Up until the end of her life her mind was very sharp. Now there's only two of my Daddy's siblings left. Unfortunately, I won't be able to attend my Aunt Sara's funeral on Tuesday, but my heart will be there. If I had a favorite Aunt she was one of them!! I will miss her. So, you see why I titled this post "April Is A Bittersweet Month"! I still love Spring but miss so many of my family!! It just isn't the same as what it used to be.

2 comments:

Vi said...

Dorcas, this was "Beautifully" written. The beauty of spring may come and go, but we have the "Beautiful" memories of our loved ones. I MISS THEM!!! I want to say that I LOVE EACH ONE IN MY FAMILY VERY MUCH!!!!! Wish we all lived closer to each other.

Dorcas said...

Vi.....
Thank you!! You're very kind!! Thank God for memories.

I, too, wish we all lived closer. I can't think about it too much or it starts to make me sad that I'm farther away from you all than I've ever been. At least we can talk on the phone and email each other :o)